Adolescence To Adulthood (To Be or Not To Be (An Adult))

I don't remember having a single moment of awareness that signaled the onslaught of adulthood.  There was no feeling, elation or key factor that transformed me from child to adult.  I woke up one day and realized, my kids are grown, I'm old enough to be a grandmother, I'm independent and self supporting.  I must be an adult.  When did the actual transition take place?   I'm not sure.  I think it is still taking place.

There are several rites of passage one goes through as the journey from adolescence to adulthood begins.  Responsibilities become greater as more is expected of you.  There are certain privileges open to the older adolescent; getting a job, learning to drive and getting a drivers license, obtaining a credit card.  Some adolescents choose to smoke.  Dating becomes more serious and having sex, an adult option, now becomes an option for the adolescent. I believe that as a young person begins to experience adult like privileges over a period of time, growing from these experiences, a transition takes place and the adult phase of life begins.  It is not a magic moment and it does not begin once a person turns 18.

Having come from a two parent family and being one of five children, I was content and secure to remain as I was.  My parents created a warm, secure environment for their children and we always knew we had a safe place to come home to.  However, their parental discipline was authoritarian and they did keep the reigns tight.  An example I can give you, was when I was 19 years old and my parents would not let me go to the drive-in with my boyfriend.  I'm sure they had good reason for their decision, but it did reinforce the adult to child relationship, making me feel I was not capable of making my own decisions.

I was married at age 20 and a year later, gave birth to my first child.  I became a responsible person, knowing that someone now depended upon me for almost everything.   My children grew to number four and responsibilities became greater.  I came to realize what personal sacrifice meant and I tried to create the warm home atmosphere my parents had created for me.  However, I did allow my children more freedom to choose and participate in things that affected their life.

After several years passed, I remember asking my mother, when would I begin to feel like a mother.  I think what I was really asking her, is when will I feel like an adult. I asked my friend, when did she first came to realize she had become an adult.  She knew immediately.  She told me it was when she was pregnant with her first child.  The realization of responsibility of having and raising a child, allowed her to recognize herself as an adult.

Recognizing oneself as an adult is an individual thing.  It does not happen at the same time for everyone.  I would like to believe that reaching adulthood is a goal we continue to pursue.  For if one can no longer perceive the child within, then one looses the concept of who we really are.